Chugga Chugga, I think I can!!

I have had several people ask me why I haven't blogged lately. I just didn't want to bore you with what has become my life lately. Sleep, Eat (but Healthy), Go to YMCA to work out, then start over!! But I am happy to say it is paying off and I have now lost 53 pounds, I am so happy and also proud of myself!! I am slowly feeling more and more confident and certainly feeling much better physically!! Just keep praying that I continue to have the motivation I need to complete this task I have about 97 more pounds til I reach my goal of 150 ponds lost. But I keep thinking positive, I am more than a third of the way there. Thanks to all of my wonderful friends and family for your prayers, concern and encouraging words!!

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference!

One thing I am very Thankful for..My Family!!

Update!!

Lost 40 pounds now!!

Weight and Wait!!

Lately, God has blessed me with such a feeling of peace and contentment. This is very unusal for me when I am dieting. Lol. God has shown me through his word, not to worry about what my future will bring. He has a plan all worked out all I need to do is to trust him completely. He knows way better than I do what is best for me. I truly believe God will give me a child, if he thinks that is best, when he decides it is the time. For now, I must trust him, look to him and enjoy the blessings of this life he has given me. I am still eating healthy and exercising and I can honestly say God (along with med.) has also taken away my desire for food, which is a miracle in itself. I have lost 33 pounds now and feel so much better. Possibly better than ever before. Partly because of the weight loss, but also I see my future as an amazing adventure just beyond the horizon.

Open the Eyes of My Heart Lord!!

I have prayed and prayed asking God to make my direction to Motherhood clear. Sometimes it is and other times not so much. But I still know that He is guiding and directing me.
I have been successful in redirecting my focus to my health and weight loss knowing the other things I desire will follow if I keep my eyes upward to Him. I have recently found it easier and easier to eat healthy and exercise knowing the possible end result. Believe me I have prayed about this too! I believe no prayer is too small for God. I have now lost 24 pounds and I am becoming more and more encouraged daily. I want to be the best mother I can possibly be and being healthy is an essential element. It is amazing what we can accomplish if we set our mind to it and we keep God as our focus.

Today in Worhsip Kidstyle we sang "Open the Eyes of My Heart Lord". It was such a blessing to look around and to see these small precious children singing and understanding what they were singing. Sometimes, I think children understand things much better than we do. They don't complicate life like we tend to. I was touched by this song today and although I have heard it a million times, I feel like I really "heard" it for the first time today. "Open the eyes of my heart Lord, open the eyes of my heart, I want to see You!" That is so powerful!

Mixed Emotions!!

Today has been a great day and an awful day all rolled up in one.

I started the day today by doing my weekly weigh-in. I stepped on the scale to discover I have lost 19.5 pounds. I was bubbling over with excitement. It is so encouraging when everything you are doing to lose weight starts paying off. All morning I had this overwhelming feeling, "I will actually be a Mother some day" I kept thinking to myself over and over.

I had decided to talk to my boss today about raises for next year. I wasn't surprised, given the current economic situation, that salaries will be frozen for next year. In addition, an extra job I have been doing at the church will dissipate. I am so scared about the future.

I feel trapped!! I desperately want to have a child more than anything in the world but feel that it is just out of reach. What if I can't afford it?? What if I can't get pregnant?? What if I never have the one thing I really want??

Satan is really working on me today. I must remember Psalm 37:4, Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Is Something Missing??

Yes, this is my first blog! Let me start at the beginning (it's a very good place to start..just a little off the subject, that is a line from "My Favorite Things" which is from one of my favorite movies "Sound of Music") anyway back to what I was saying, I am starting from the very beginning.

As a child I can only remember wanting to be a Mommy when I grew up. As it has happened, I find myself on my 37 birthday (today) and that has yet to be a part of God's plan. I have been OK with that (for the most part). I have always tried to be a good person, find the humor in things I can't control and mostly have lots of fun. My quote in my senior yearbook was "Don't just float in the pool of life make waves". This may sound as though I meant cause trouble, but my young mind only saw the quote as meaning "Don't just go through life, EXPERIENCE it!" I, as a Christian, try to always see the beauty in life and be thankful for what God has provided me and not dwell on what I don't have. I have a great life and I am very happy. But for the last several years something has been missing, I have heard the loud ticking (TICK! TOCK!) and yearned for a child of my own more than ever.

I had considered, on occassion, such options as adoption and artificial insemination but something was always holding me back from actually persuing either of these options. Fear...I guess.

One day early this year,Bill Owens, my boss, Pastor and friend said casually during a conversation about me having children, "What are you waiting for??" No one had actually ever asked me that. I started to ask myself this question and pray for an answer to clear my thoughts.

Over the next few months, I prayed continuously about how I would proceed. After much prayer, research, and a consultation with a fertility doctor, I have decided to have artificial insemination.

My plan (along with the doctor's advice) is to try to lose some weight to ensure a healthy pregnancy and baby. My hope is to start the actual insemination process in early April of next year. I will not be taking fertility drugs so it may take several inseminations before I become pregnant. Please pray that as I go through this process I have a clear and keen understanding of God's will. I am open to other options if this doesn't work out, but I have no doubt whatsoever that I do want to be a Mom. I just have to be patient for God to allow that to happen His way in His time.

This blog will take you through my process and hopefully (God willing) my pregnancy. You can't believe how exciting it is to just write those words "my pregnancy". Thanks in advance for your friendship and support but most of all for your Prayers!

Weight lost to date: 12 pounds and counting. I am eating healthy, exercising, praying and I feel great!!

In Him,
Kristyl