Mixed Emotions!!

Today has been a great day and an awful day all rolled up in one.

I started the day today by doing my weekly weigh-in. I stepped on the scale to discover I have lost 19.5 pounds. I was bubbling over with excitement. It is so encouraging when everything you are doing to lose weight starts paying off. All morning I had this overwhelming feeling, "I will actually be a Mother some day" I kept thinking to myself over and over.

I had decided to talk to my boss today about raises for next year. I wasn't surprised, given the current economic situation, that salaries will be frozen for next year. In addition, an extra job I have been doing at the church will dissipate. I am so scared about the future.

I feel trapped!! I desperately want to have a child more than anything in the world but feel that it is just out of reach. What if I can't afford it?? What if I can't get pregnant?? What if I never have the one thing I really want??

Satan is really working on me today. I must remember Psalm 37:4, Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.